A Standard Wedding Speech

In this blog I will be looking at normal to the downright wacky speeches at Weddings but to kick us off here is a standard groom speech from Mike Lycett at www.hitched.co.uk . Hope it helps .

Good afternoon everybody….
Firstly on behalf of Caroline and myself we thank you all for being here with us to share our wedding day with us. We’ve really been blown away with the good wishes, fabulous cards and super presents that we’ve received. Thank you all. It is slightly unconventional that we’re all gathered here on a Thursday afternoon. None of you quite know the reason why, so it’s time I put that record straight. It was exactly a year ago today that Caroline and I went out on our first date together, so what better way than to share our anniversary by getting hitched and have all of our closest friends and family here with us to celebrate with us!
As we’re all here there are a few people in the congregation that we need to thank. Firstly, we thank those guys who’ve made an extra long journey to be here with us today. There’s Steve and Val who have travelled up from Kent, Alan and Frances are up from Surrey whilst Chris and Fiona have made their way down to the Midlands today from bonny Scotland. Caroline and I appreciate the extra effort that you guys have made. That’s not an oversight to the rest of you guys. Getting married on a Thursday we know has meant that nearly all of you have had to book a day or two off work and for some of you that hasn’t been easy we know. Thank you all and we sincerely hope that you enjoy your day here with us.
I’d like to thank Caroline’s father for his kind words and snippets of wisdom that he offered during his speech. At this point I feel it appropriate to thank both Geoff and Sallie for the support, time, patience and honesty that they’ve shown to me since Caroline first took me home. Thank you both. I promise to try and be a son-in-law that you can be proud of. Right from the outset I finally knew that Caroline was the one for me. This one was different. How come? Well, when I asked for her phone number for the first time I DIDN’T get a slap! Left me quite bemused I can tell you!
As I said a moment ago, there are a few people for us to thank so please be patient with me during this process. Caroline and I are both blessed to have magnificent parents to whom we owe everything. They have brought us up with love, tenderness, devotion and instilled firm values of what is right, what is wrong and how to treat people in us. Our parents are our idols and we are the people we are today because of them. We’re so proud of them and we hope they are too of us. I’d like to invite both Mums and Dads to come up and receive a token of both our thanks and love.
After we started to plan the wedding we came across what I thought was the rather thorny issue of the wedding cake. Caroline said “Don’t worry, I’ll see if Aunty Marge will do it for us”. At this point I hadn’t even met Aunty Marge to be honest with you! However, Caroline could not have been more accurate. I cannot begin to imagine the time that has gone into making our extraordinary cake. Thank you so much Marge. You must have the patience of a saint! If you’d like to step forward please, we have a little something for you as our “thank you” to you.
Now, as you all arrived at Church today, you were no doubt met by the Midlands answer to “Hale and Pace” – otherwise known as our ushers Mark and David. We’d like to thank you for both a job well done and bringing that “night-club bouncer” feel to our wedding. The way you boys discreetly frisked the ladies upon arrival was a sight to behold! Mark and David, please come forward as we have a little gift for you both. Thanks…
Now, who could possibly say that the children don’t look absolutely marvellous today? Our flower girls Katie and Harriet look like little princesses and the two page-boys Daniel and Little Joe look a million dollars in their top hates. If you’d all like to come up you’ll find that Caroline has a prize for you all. Little Joe won’t be very surprised because I caught him with his nose in his box a few minutes ago!
As you’ve probably gathered by now, I’m in charge of the speech and Caroline’s in charge of handing out the presents. However, there is one present that she knows nothing about. Yvonne, can you come and bring me the present I left with you yesterday please……… Thank you…. This one is for my darling bride Caroline who I’m sure you’ll all agree looks absolutely astonishing today. Never in my life have I ever been so certain and so comfortable as I am with you. When you hadn’t arrived, and finally turned up almost a quarter of an hour late I wasn’t remotely nervous or worried. I bit these nails off last night – HONEST! Anyway, my love, this is from me to you with all my love and I promise to love you and look after you forever…………… That’s what your notes say isn’t it?!!!
Nearly finished now, calm down calm down. No wedding could possibly be complete without the bridesmaids and in Sue, Louise and Kerrie we have three stunners. I’m going to bring you three girls up individually if that’s ok because you all deserve your share of the limelight. Ladies, when I say that you’ve decorated the church and our Reception beautifully today I don’t mean that you were here at the crack of dawn with ten dozen balloons and a van load of flowers! It is thanks to you and you girls alone that Caroline has remained remotely sane these last few weeks as the pressure built. She freaked me out a long time ago! So, firstly, could I ask the bride’s sister Sue to come up please…….. Ok, next we have Louise please……… And last but by no means least we have Kerrie. Thank you Ladies – you can rest assured that I’ll be calling upon you again in the future if I need bridesmaids! OUCH!!!!! Only joking love!!………………………
Last but by no means last we have the Best Man. Many of you have asked if it was a difficult decision to choose between my three older brothers whom to have as Best Man. (That wasn’t meant to be funny!). It’s true that each brother would bring a different range of attributes to the job. Now, when I rang John and asked him to “do the honours” I was pleased when he agreed. I suppose you want to know why I chose him? Well, first off it’s not because he’s a Black Belt in Karate! It’s not ok!! His precision and organisation were strong features, as too would be his calming reassurances. The joker though, the absolute definitive reason was that I knew that he was the only one in the family who knows how to tie a Windsor Knot properly. You think I’m kidding don’t you!
Now, before I hand you over to John I must ask you to remember that is the traditional duty of the Best Man to tell hurtful, sordid, cruel and definitely untrue stories about the Groom and I suppose John will be no different. I must get my side of the story in first. It’s not unusual for all little boys to dress up in girls clothes and experiment in make up, skirts, blouse, bra and stockings. We’ve all been there. We have! The fact that I was caught aged 29 just means that I was a late starter that’s all!Anyway, enough from me. Before the Best Man takes the floor please be upstanding and join me in a toast….
To….. “The Bridesmaids!!”
Thank You………